Okay, so before i start the following is all true. None of what i’m about to write is fake and the main reason for me sharing these experiences is simply due to the fact that i want advice/guidance on what this is, is there a specific reasoning behind it happening or just circumstantial. All comments are welcome, thank you in advance for your input.
I’ll begin with what my mum has told me about my experiences when i was younger. Mind you my mum is typically reluctant to share my experiences of the spiritual world as a child but now that i’m older, she has opened up a bit more. The first experience i can think of is when i was about 6 or 7 years old, my family & i lived in a house which consisted of the ground floor, which contained the entrance hallway and the kitchen/dining room. Then there was the first floor, on this floor to the left was the living room, further down was the half-bathroom & further down my parents room. Finally, we have the second floor. On the second floor there was my brother’s room, the second bathroom and finally my sister & i’s room. In this particular house, i don’t remember much other than when i would walk through the house to get to any room, i would feel like there was always someone following me. It’d always felt like they were right behind me but out of fear, i would never turn around and just keep on walking. I have always thought that it was best to ignore it rather than entertain whatever it was. When bed time would come around, i would force someone to walk me up to my room because most of the time the corridor light on the floor which my room resided was burned out. Once i would get into my room, i would feel that odd feeling again. As if someone was in the room with me. I had difficulty sleeping, to this day i still have difficulty falling asleep. No, i do not suffer from insomnia. Anyways, once i was able to fall asleep (the only way i was able to do this was by covering myself, head to toe in my blanket), i would either wake up one of two ways, scared but quiet because i’d felt someone touching me and when i would wake up like this, i’d try to quickly uncover myself from underneath my blankets and hope to see one of my family members but i would never see anyone on the other side of those blankets like i’d hope i would. The other way in which i’d wake up, would be screaming & crying in fear but i don’t remember why. Another experience i had whilst living in that house, my mum told me herself because i have no recollection of this occurring. She told me that during the time where my family & I would be in the living room, having family time. I would randomly mention that i saw a man walk past and go into my parents room. I would mention this multiple times but my parents never believed me because they thought it was my imagination. You know, most think that children have too vivid imagination. However, this time it was later in the afternoon and once again i mentioned seeing the same man walk past the living room and go into my parents room. Out of luck, my mum actually saw the man this time. so, she and my dad got up and followed the man only to see him walk into their room. when they got to their room and looked for the man, he was in the corner of their room with his back turned against them.
Another time, the area in which i used to live in as a child, in order to reach my primary school (Elementary school) i’d have to walk past a graveyard. The way the path to my school was set out, it made it seem like you were walking through a park. You’d see a children’s playground on one side, a walking & bike path on the other side which would lead to another primary school close to my own and further down the graves. The thing is though, no one was scared about walking through the park/graveyard. Even now, I’ve been there multiple times years later and you never feel creeped out, not even at night time. I’m going a bit off. Continuing on, from time to time my mum would take me to the park to play with my friends whilst she could have a little ‘gossip’ with my friends mum. On a specific day, my mum told me how out of no where i ran off to a random woman who looked extremely sad and i talked to the woman for a few minutes before returning to playing with my friends. My mum informed that after i had done this, the woman approached my mum and said that she had a gifted daughter. My mum was rather confused until the women explained that i had walked up to her and told her not to be sad anymore because her husband wanted me to tell her that he loved her and that he was okay.
After having lived in that house for a good few years, my parents decided to move so that my sister & I wouldn’t have to share a room anymore. We moved into a four bedroom flat, this flat was by far the creepiest of them all and where i had some of my worst experiences. It was a great house but what came along with it, wasn’t great. In this house, i used to scream in my sleep a lot. To the point where my parents thought someone had broken into the flat and was hurting me but when they’d get to my room. I’d still be sleeping. My mum would have to shake me really hard in order to get me awake because any other way i wouldn’t wake up. My mum told me how when i’d wake up, i used to cry saying they were trying to hurt me and they were touching me and getting too close. From this experience, i remember one specific moment, where i was watching myself sleep from above. Kind of like i was floating above my sleeping self. I remember seeing a man trying to get to me, i couldn’t see his face. All i could see was that it was man and he was dark, his aura around him was completely dark. I knew he couldn’t see me but as i was watching this i began to panic and thats when my mum woke me out of my sleep. She told me this happened on multiple occasions, not just that one time but i only remember that one time.
I can hear them talk to me but not the typical way, not the way others experience communication with the paranormal/spirit world. I hear them like i hear myself thinking, i’ll feel someone in the room with me and i’ll try to ignore it but sometimes, its like they know that i can feel them near me and they speak to me. Either by saying my name or just screaming, i ignore it then as well but when the screaming becomes too much i tell it to stop. I speak out loud and say “Go away” and it stops. They don’t go away but they stop. I’ve read other people’s experiences and tried to relate and understand what this is but only sometimes can i relate. For example, i feel their presence before i see them but whereas other people can see how they look, the ones that i see i can only tell whether its a man, woman or child & whether they have a dark aura or light aura. Typically, i get an extremely bad feeling when those with a dark aura appear around me because i’ll be doing uni work and the next moment i feel complete and utter dread. whereas, if they have a light aura i’ll sense their presence and see them and be able to continue with my daily task.
Another odd thing is, i cannot visit graveyards. Unless the graveyards only hold extremely old graves. It’s not that i can’t physically enter them. Every time I am to go inside a graveyard, i have to ask permission to go inside. This is because it’s respectful and because i don’t want any to follow me home. On the way out, i say thank you and once again ask permission to leave. However, now-a-days i avoid graveyards because when i walk into the graveyard, i no longer feel my own emotions. I can’t really explain what i feel. Its like as soon as i walk through the gates of the graveyard, i feel all of the sadness that is contained within. i’ll feel extremely sad, depressed, distressed, angry and it feels like its the end of the world. In that moment i honestly believe that i’ll never be happy again. Not all but most graves that i acknowledge, i begin to cry as if i knew this person. As if i were the person residing in that grave or a family member of theirs. I don’t know why this happens to me but it does. Once i’ve put some distance between the graveyard and myself, i no longer feel sad. I feel like myself again, i no longer feel as if sadness is all there is. Though the graveyard isn’t the only place this happens to me, this happens to me when i feel a spiritual presence. Not all the time because some are angry, others are neutral but the ones that are sad are the ones that affect me the most. In that moment, my heart aches so much. I can’t fully explain the experience.
There was another time, where i had just gotten to the house where i am currently living and i immediately felt that i wasn’t alone. Ofcourse, other than my mum & i. I felt that there was someone else with us but i didn’t pay attention to it. We then left the house to quickly go Asda (Supermarket) and when we came back, the presence was no longer neutral. It was like they were angry at me. My mum was in the kitchen putting away the shopping, i had to go the living room before i went to help my mum with the grocery unpacking but when i walked into the living room that feeling of dread just hit me so quickly. To make it seem like i was unaware of their presence, i quickly dropped off whatever it was i had wanted to leave in there and began walking back to the kitchen to help my mum but as i began walking back, it began to follow me closely behind then i started walking extremely fast to the point of a jog to my mum and as i ran to my mum, she sensed it and stepped in front of me and began to pray. I know in today’s society not many believe in religion and praying and honestly, i’m like that as well. Even now, i don’t believe in religion (Sorry, if this is taken offensively), i’m theist. Meaning i don’t belong to any religion but i believe in God. I believe in God & praying, although back then i had my doubts but these experiences have long restored my faith in God. This went a bit off topic but i mentioned this because in that moment when my mum began to pray, i no longer felt that sense of dread or fear. The ones that provoke those feelings from within me are the ones which scare me the most because i can be doing a normal daily task and as soon as they appear anywhere near me and i sense their bad aura, i either go into full panic mode and cry out of no where or i feel extreme dread and goosebumps all over.
I think this will be the last of my experiences i will be sharing on this post, this post will soon become a book. ( LOOL)
Anyways, i had a younger cousin. Let’s call him Dan, now Dan was my cousin on my mum’s side of the family. He was about 13/14 when he died. A couple of weeks before his death, i had a vivid dream where my family and i were running across the road. The road was a two-way road but had a small separation in the middle. The family members in this dream were my mum, dad, my little brother & i. we ran across the first half of the road and we all made it safely to the middle section dividing the two-way road; however, as we were running across the second half of the road my mum got hit by a bus (I live in London, so if you don’t know the buses here are either a red double decker or just a ‘ground floor’ only bus), in my dream my mum was hit by a red double decker and was stuck under the wheel meaning she was suffering whilst dying. I cried so much in that dream that i woke myself up crying. I had long forgotten about this dream until a couple weeks after having that dream, i found out my cousin Dan died because he was running across the road with his friends trying to get to school. The worst thing is he died the exact same way, i had seen my mum die in my dream. He got hit by a red double decker and died whilst stuck underneath the bus wheel. Rather than having dreamt with Dan himself, in my dream he was replaced with my mum because he was my cousin from my mum’s side of the family. This was by far one of my worst experiences. I am a lucid dreamer, when i am dreaming most of the time i am completely aware that i’m dreaming and can wake myself up but when i have dreams such as the one i explained above, i don’t realise its a dream until i wake up. Till this day, that has been the only dream where i was ‘warned’ i guess you could say about someone’s death without me being aware of it, other times its just a conversation that i dream of or an action and it’ll happen in real life, causing me to have a Deja Vu moment.
The whole point of this post was to share my experiences and hear other people’s opinions and explanations on what this is and why i experience all this stuff, Thank you for reading my experiences.